At some point, it really does need to be less about the penises.

But then again, I don’t think you ever did.

In case you missed it, something. Whatever it was, it certainly was something.

It seems fitting to post this, an old pinboard of mine with the determinations I wrote a few years ago, today. My first day of the strangest unemployment I have encountered.

Here’s to new adventures and to crossing off each new determination one by one.

I left part of my heart in San Francisco. I am lucky it is being well looked after.

This is one of the first pictures in my iPhoto stream. I remember the day it was taken, a few months after I had arrived back in Vancouver to start a new life. Fresh pedicure and a new flat in the West End. I can’t remember if I felt alone, or if things were good or bad at that time, it was September and the fall was just about to creep in.

Fast forward a few years. It is April and I have been back in this city for 4 years. I am about to be unemployed for the 3rd time of my professional career. But this time it seems different. What I have now is a large urban family, friends who hold me up and whom, in turn, allow me to hold them up. I own my own flat, I have a home for the first time in years, a table, a sofa, a bed. And even though it feels like the universe is holding me back and under, I know that it is waiting for the right time.

Today my gorgeous friend Anne, who only recently came into my life but has proven to be another soulmate, wrote a post about her struggle and mine, and I realize that I am never alone.

Yesterday I hit that metaphorical wall with all the force left in my body, and started dropping my words.

“Can you pass me… um, tha… you know [waves hand] that THING which is not a spork. No, not a fork? Or a spoon?”

[Weird hand motion which some may say looked like a cutting motion or at best, a wrist pop]

“You know! The THIIIIIING!”

“The knife?”

“Yes, yes. Of course the knife!”

Time for a holiday.